I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
