hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
barbara walters just said penis...
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
