Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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