Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
