did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Randomize
