trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
