1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
This gyro tastes like lonliness
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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