Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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