I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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