I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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