I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
