she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
