How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
