At least make sure they are 18
Why
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
