How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Enjoy the penises
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
