Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
