If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
