we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
