A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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