fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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