at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
