I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
