wanna go halves on a baby?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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