It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
