I didn't shave. On purpose
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
