i think my mom watched the whole time
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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