so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
