More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
