He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
