Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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