And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
