it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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