i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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