I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
