I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
