That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
