Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
