I must be too annoying 4 u.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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