There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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