Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
