i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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