Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
