I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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