I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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