just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
