Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
