I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
