Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry LunacyAndLight hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(617): View more from Massachusetts

Non-Jews are for practice

Fav 27 1506 908
share tweet
(614): View more from Ohio

I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?

Fav 21 851 2074
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(719): View more from Colorado

Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.

Fav 8 1197 3273
share tweet
(352): View more from Florida

Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.

Fav 178 4434 1237
share tweet
(804): View more from Virginia

she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.

Fav 27 6247 1305
share tweet
(517): View more from Michigan

Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)

Fav 9 1818 746
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(856): View more from New Jersey

she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte

Fav 3 1075 544
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(513): View more from Ohio

Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.

Fav 3 880 358
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(518): View more from New York

Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?

(1-518): View more from New York

Absolutely same thing as church only different

Fav 0 36 4
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT