i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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