he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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