I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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