So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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