Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
