Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
