I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize