Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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