The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
