Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
