I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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