ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
