you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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