New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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